funnysmsquotesjokesvideosimages: 2009

Funny jokes on man and woman

Argument
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

Falling A man said to a woman I love you and fell down. Again he said "I love you" and fell down Woman: Why are you doing this?? Man: Iam falling in love

Funny jokes on pizza

George ordered pizza in a restaurent
Waiter: Sir should I cut it into four peices or eight peices
George: Make it into four...I cant finish eight peices

Funny joke on stages of life

Teens: Have time and energy but no money
Workers: Have money and energy but no time
Oldies: Have time and moneybut no energy

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." Marty Feldman

"You can only be young once but you can be immature forever." Dave Barry

"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." Dave Barry

"You can only be young once but you can be immature forever." Dave Barry

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." Les Dawson

Funny jokes on lovers

Photo
Always keep your lovers photo in your purse
Whenever you are in big trouble see the photo....
You will feel that no other problem is bigger than this!!

Drive
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Can you drive the car with one hand??
Boyfriend: Yah!! Sure...Why not??
Girfriend: Then please clean your nose

Hotel bill
Boy: I love you
Girl: I dont love you
Boy: Think again
Girl: I told you, no..no..I dont love you
Boy: Waite bring seperate bills
Girl: Ok..Ok...I love you

Funny jokes on salesman

Salesman: What soap do you use??
Tom: Richard soap, Richard paste, Richard toothbrush.....
Salesman: Is Richard an international company??
Tom: Richard is my roommate

Funny sms on police on search

Police is looking for a suspect who is smart, attractive and good looking... So where are you???
Please come
And hide me!!

Job vacancy

Want to be a branch manager?
Wear a nice suit, shoe and be tip-top, climb a tree
and sit on a branch and manage it.
Now you are a branch manager.

Funny jokes of teachers and students

Bark

Teacher: What is the outer part of a tree called? Student: I dont know sir.

Teacher: Bark! You foolish boy, Bark!

Student: Alright sir, WOOF.... WOOF... WOOF..

$100
A student attached $100 to his examination paper and wrote,"$1 for 1 mark." Teacher checks the answer paper and sends him $81 back and wrote: You got only 19 marks, so keep the change!

Two robbers

Richard was assaulted by two robbers. He fought back but being alone the two robbers overpowered him.
The two robbers searched his pockets. “ You mean you fought like that for 50 cents?” asked one of the robbers.
“ Is that all you wanted?” moaned Richsrd.
“ I thought you were after the 500 dollars in my shoe!!”