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Heights of diplomacy

Heights of diplomacy: Forgetting girlfriend's birthday and later telling her-

" How can I remember your birthday honey when you never look a year older!!"

Diploma

Grandma with a kid on her lap: Sleep DIPLOMA sleep!!

Neighbour: Why are you calling her DIPLOMA??

Grandma: My daughter abroad to college to get a DIPLOMA and brought this!!!

Love versus exam

Love: Lots of thoughts and mind but no guts to express.

Exam:Lots of guts to express but no thoughts and mind

Funny jokes on man and woman

Argument
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument


Falling A man said to a woman I love you and fell down. Again he said "I love you" and fell down Woman: Why are you doing this?? Man: Iam falling in love

Funny jokes on pizza

George ordered pizza in a restaurent
Waiter: Sir should I cut it into four peices or eight peices
George: Make it into four...I cant finish eight peices

Funny joke on stages of life

Teens: Have time and energy but no money
Workers: Have money and energy but no time
Oldies: Have time and moneybut no energy

Funny comedian quote

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." Marty Feldman

"You can only be young once but you can be immature forever." Dave Barry

"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." Dave Barry

"You can only be young once but you can be immature forever." Dave Barry

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." Les Dawson